2006

does this mean anything???


i mean, there are tons of ways of starting a new something. does new years, the first day of something names by some ppl as a calendar year mean something? what? and why does it matter so much to live "the moment." I mean , in these past years I haven't really given into this NEW YEARS EVE feeling, as far as a group celebration was concerned. now I did go..........

pictures

my life circles around pictures in these past couple of days.

1400something.

and I was checking out some, a lotta pix.

http://www.annemcaulay.com/index.htm

what makes a good picture? why do we take pictures? why do I take so many pictures? why do I take those pictures?

trust like......

you have never done before.

you have always done before.

you will never regret it.

you will have no regrets for it.

you have been trusted before.

you have been betrayed before.

you have been hurt before.

you have hurt before.

you have heard before.

you have been known before.

Dec 24.....

Mom slipped - a vase cut her head - we went to the hospital. this is how our Christmas time has started.

presents: few. i mean, i managed to buy only a limited amount of stuff to ppl I like. this xmas sucks for me on many levels. first of all: i can't feel the spirit at all.

will not be going home-home for xmas........

and this brings up the question: when will I ever stop referring to Zalaegerszeg as home?

orange juice wine

when the waitress looked at me today, and she wanted to give me orange juice instead of wine.

felt...offended.

xmas like karaoke

this thursday we got some amstud folks together for a nite-out funness. we went to STAGE PUB to sing some karaoke. god knows why, but im beginning to have less and less objection towards the genre. this last time, actually, Andy had managed to pull me up on the stage and sing with him (well, to be honest i was more like the backdancer/singer), but it was fun, anyways.

energized

yay!!! i've found my theater/little NY feel in Budapest.

it's called Trafo...and my task in the future is to indulge in its world and that surrounding it. it's a cool little space (well, actually, not little)..... they have performances in dance, music, theater...the house of contemporary art. i loved their colors, the people who were there, the smell.
the performace we saw tonite was the choreography of Pal Frenak (check out the site --- and it actually in some respect brought me back to the Italian Teatro Valdoca company, which finally has some pix of its show on the website, go and see)). He is of Hun descent currently living and working in Paris. His visual aesthetic is engaging. the bodies and the movements are stong and are shouting of power.

the play and its physical explicitness made my friend's boy friends leave from the audience. they couln't stand looking at the male dancer's penises at one point. it's weird to encounter with people who have ideas of this sort...well, really, not weird....i'd rather say: it was weird but extrememly useful and interesting to have a talk with them. intellectual talk.
what is art? what's the "use" of it? what does the artist want to communicate? why does art use nudity? the spaces...the personal likes and dislikes. the reaction and the effects a performance has on us.
well, i hate that some, if not given a) an interpretation, b) a narrative structure are dissing the pieces. why would you have to be told what you should see. let the work talk. no, let yourself understand whatever you (want to) undestand. if i give you an interpretation, then your understanding, your relation to the performace will be limited.

chai

today he made me smile again, as He did by putting the tea in the box.

today i talked and was heard, but didn't get any smarter, unfortunately.

today i punctuated. i was missing and I am missed.

i miss.......

the mug of "waking up"

what does it mean?

what does it mean if I can see the red lines in my eyes reflected in my cell phone's LDC screen while I'm gazing ahead?

i'm barely but still kicking

what's happening?

i asked today.

i got no answers.

cuz now: this is a question to which A) I should answer. only, solely. just. but to which B) I don't want to and I cannot answer.


and then again: all is a lie........easier..........liar......


there are HHHUUUGGGEEE plans in formation now.

I suprised someone today by saying: I wanna study more. yep, tho: some more years in the hands of the institutional monster loved and hated by all. but come on: stage directing is offered as a major!


and now, keywords again:

- exams - some, lot, no study, death
- thesis - no chapters finished, deadlines passed...but i already have work done......
- szhek -gone against what i've decided but why?! this is surprising
- ""flirty"" - today I read our future in the horoscope: there is no future! plus.........
- april...summer....ever-US

snore. snore. snore. snore.

wild smile with Mum hiding 

hiding 

Meg being extremly happy about holding Zsolt's shoes 

Adam not wanting me to take a picture of him and me still taking it 

snow lady 

signatuer picture with a shadow 

Szabina skating and talking on her cell...balancing with life 

one othe rmoment of fun now next to the iceskating ring..i wasn't skating...no way I would have wanted to tempt fate and fall and then get myself a new pair of crutches...no-no-no-no-no, baby, no-no-no-no, don't try-y 

oh-oh...i'm eating the great invention of "kurtos kalacs"..cinnamon and sugar coating hotness 

a moment of fun on the underground 

Christmas fair: you can buy a lotta fair goods here....mugs, cups, wooden toy thingies, and: good food.....and: mulled wine!!! delicious. they give a mug too!!!