my talkative day

i was late from school again - it wouldn't really be a problem if it ahdn't been the same class i had already been late three times before. it's so frustrating! i was up today and went down to catch th ebus. it wasn't coming. it' still wasn't coming. i was already far from the tram stop - which from I could have taken a different route, - so I kept waiting. it became 940...and then i got myself fancying the idea of the class starting at 1030 instead of 10 more and more. so i waited, then the bus came, i got to my stop walked over to the trolleybus and then got to the campus at 1020. the class of course had started at 10. i knocked on the door and asked prof. james if i could still go in. of course.
and then, i talked a a lot during the class. i didnt mean to make up for the lateness. i just really felt it important to speak up - we were discussing the the differenceces between lectures and presentations...and then i mentioned some examples about my american experiences, and tehn i got the argument of "there you only needed to take 4-5 courses, but here you have 11-15! and tehn the money argument! gosh, i can't believe that these people seriously think that this is the problem. i agree - you get back as much as you give in...but then, fuck it, please, put in something. no discussions, no dialog, no challange. these are all related. i wish i could say that now, getting closer to my stuides, i still feel teh enthusiasm about school as i did in tehbeginnig. but i can't. they talk about having nice teachers..oh, yeah - but what do i gain by having a nice person if the skills i should be able to use are not given any chance to be practiced. i'm often asked what is it with america,politically mostly - i can't answer anythign more than what I personally gather from not primarily university sources (not the presented, digested, and acquired knowledge) but from the media and possible from some outside-classroom discussions. i was telling them about the number of papers i needed to write to just one class. besides the astonished faces i got the uhs-ahs - here professors wouldnt do that cuz they are not given teh money and/or are researchers, etc. i had researchers in the us too - plus: students are not given salaries - and i thin k ont eh level of the discusssions we were having especially, that is the problematic area that we have to look at.
and this is just a slice of all the arguments. gosh, it was a pretty good class.

today i got a repsonse from corrado and marina: im gonna be staying for as long as i can. im gonna be visiting their workshops, and look a ttheir wokr with two groups. and....well, about this later!! :) you know, my superstitions. i'm gonna be staying at aristide's house. i hope that things won't get awry...i really don't want him to believe in something that's not close to reality.

I NEED TO STOP BEING NICE!

and then again: an update on my "flirt". today he called . and then he asked me to call him back or something...which i did. actually, i am curious where this thing is going. and its fun. :) yeah. as im thinking about it more, im just inda wanna know where htings oculd evolve. i dont really have a crush on him, actually, and it just makes it even more interesting. especially, becuase then i cant tell why im...smiling. :) so, i misdialled. a girl picked it up and ...well, yeah - "haha" and then his phone died. called me back and was tryying hard to when ig ot back the outgoing, he said he doesnt wanna .....and then after some more casual sentences he suddenly hung up.

there's drama at seigel street too. i wish i could be there. i do! its just not good to hear...well....roomies, roomies....i wanna have magival powers to solve all the problems and get back the good times of the summer.....:) why do i believe so badly that then it'd be better???
im kinda starting to feel different here too - weird, but different in the positive way. though, goign away and havng all the plans help me look at "the here" from a differetn point of view. namely: i feel so "out" that i jsut dont care. i dont bother with things that much...space out when stupidity or the same circles are baing run by people around me....i concentrate on my things, im living my reality ...in my head and aorund me too....so far, it works out fine...i think i just make my mum more and more confused and less certain again about what the heck's gonn a happen...but....gosh, i dunno either...I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING MORE CONCRETE, SOMETHING MORE CONCRETE ABOUT THE PLANS I HAVE FOR GOING BACK TO THE STATES....GOING BACK...GOING BACK..GOING BACK.

banner

so, for the Am Studies Party I had to make a banner. hell'ya! making banners was my least favorite job at the Ontological .
i deliberately asked for the neccesary pieces of info to be sent to me: do u think it happened as such?? no...so i needed to put down the time later, and for god's sake: couldn't we have it at 8 or 9, and not at something half..i didnt leave anough space for that. :)
the whole things was funny though, cuz Mom gave me the sheet around midnight and i neede to get it done by early morning. instead of jumping on the project, we had a huge fight (the usual - i spare the details for now), and then i decided to watch Stage Beauty. and i only started the making afterwards. the movie is ggod by the way. not that effective, or i didnt feel it this way, but its among the ones i list as faves.

then again, i overslept a bit...adn was late for my performance and theater class a bit. which is a shame, cuz the prof is really good and the material is great too - i actually learn a lot about a lot of stuff i aalready know but now in hungarian! :)
it's totally performance theory - which remends me: im gonna need to ask for the sylabus for M's class on this.

i had a meeting with my htesis advisor too: she "ordered" me to speak in hungarian! that i have to be able to find the right terms and everything - and that's not an explanation that i dont know the vocabulary (!!)
she didnt take my cd with the files on it and nor could we agree on a title - she was right. it was just weird and a bit uncomfortable. i ..i...i dont know.
i hope and i want things to work out well! i miss the conversations! gosh, i miss them...i feel like im becoming mentally handicapped! okay, that's too much, but still, in a way....
the performance class is the only class i enjoy sitting through.i do look at my watch but just to track how much more is there. its not that extremely interesting or so, but the subject matter and the context!! yes!

waht else happened today? oh, yeah. so mr. fresh was calling after me at the school and was also addressing me in a very cure way with dfunny adjectives. gosh, i dont know what to make out of it. he wasnt joking but...oh, and when he said that the readon we cant really talk normally is because there is too much sexual energy between the two of us...and then Z. and S. came over, and though the little "things" still went on....no, i actually didnt feel any change. its only now that im trying to find a second meaning. anyways: thursday - night out or not? him included or not? we'll see.

thursday's gonna be busy. i got myself another student to teach. its only gonna be an extra class, but...still soemthing. after Nori, im going to theri place ot teach, then i meet up with Meg and ..well, we may either go out or, stay over at our place..since she's gonna sleep over. we have a lot to talk about. she moved out from Csaba yesterday. it was in teh air for along while..but: I think he just doesnt knwo waht to do, how ot live his life now being back here, as an adult. and he was blaming for all this the most obvious thing - her. however, their relationship wasnt easy, even bakc in the states and here especially. and though she's someitmes more tough than the situation/Cs would have required it, for god's sake: she moved here!!! for him!! i wish them well, i wish her well. i want her to feel good and not to regret for a moment coming here.we shall see!! matters of teh heart and man/woman relations are never easy....

but tell me one thing: why isn't there ever anyone when i'd need a clear sight, some listening, advice....??!!!

today's gonna be the day....

...when I don't do what i planned to do. im not surprised though: it ususally is the case.

i'm gonna have to make up for this...

i have no classes on two days of the week, and basically I don't have to go in on Tuesdays and Thursdays either. but: it doesnt mean that i'm without work. first of all: i should really be working on my thesis. and then: i should really be working, in general, to have money and to keep myself busy and occupied.

some folks from the american studies department ventured ona ission to reinvigorate the major and the department adn they dragged me in to the student representative body. i took up the task of organizing an english speaking drama club. we had our first meeting to which a couple of people have come and i also received to enquiries. i'll need to find some good material to work from. it;s very unfortunate, though, that the good old attitude from Trinity is gonna be missing here. i don't mean to have a pessimistic attitude, but i have to see that this is gonna be different.
first of, it is realy difficult for me to have conversations about theater. i have no partners in this here.
and then....

the initiative of the studetn body are pretty nice, though a lot less interactive than i thought. or maybe, i shouldn't judge them this quickly: it was only the first movie night - but either way, i thought the whole point is to have some kind of communication between us, and then instead -- silence. well, we'll see. i didnt mind watching the series togethrer, but i'd have enjoyed more talking and discussing things.

there's gonna be a party this friday. i'm making the banner for it...and actually, i've totally forgotten about it, so now, at 1158pm i'm off to do it! wish me luck!

screwed up the last posts

well, i uploaded some nice pix, primarily from Graz and also about my home...but they ended up being post on my Hungarian blog...so, go and check them out there. you may access the site via my profile, but just to make sure: www.fiveca.blogspot.com

some links to more pix from the previous weeks

Last Nite in New York

some NYC

Bonnaroo

California

some things i learned about myself over the conference

we played some weird games over the conference. the results are interesting, given that these people could ahrdly knwo me in sucha short period of time.

* what kind of food am i?
mixed plate
something with cream on the top
zucchini

*what kind of color?
what kind of dance?
what kind of movie?

* what are you rfavorite animals and why?
horse: graceful, majostic adn lik riding it
kenguru: funny (nurturing)
bird: it can fly away

first: how others see you
second: who you really are
third: who you aspire to be

i'm back

i'm back at blogspot and back in hungary too. for how long? hell, who could tell?
especailly if you take into consideration that soon after my plane landed on these royal lands, I packed my nice little Samsonite (which was carefully chosen back in the time, basing the decision on its color and its size), and left for Graz. And then stayed in Sentilj, SLovenia for a while.

the theater conference (TWISFER) was on theater works in social fields - so not really my focus, but i've learned a lot of interesting concpets and the workshop was great. i ended up participating in the wamr ups of three different methods (political theater, playback theater, forum theater), got to know more about the latter two and worked on a piece with Adrian Jackson, from the Boal school of the Theater of the Oppressed. I got to be the protagonist for the forum piece in which we modelled teh conferecne situation. My Barbara character was taken after Susanne. She was informed about our attempt in advance, but ina away , i think, she got offended. not really though - cuz she wouldn't wanna take up the responsibility of a badly organized conference, but...anyways: it was a nice piece, which got people react to it and that was important.
I havent heard of forum theater before - did i just have my ears shut over mitch's classes?? but i've learned a lot about it now.
and also: i got to meet a lot of interesting people form the field. plus, my horizon on theater and its application have widened.

and now: i'm planning a trip to Italy for the end of october. i'm gonna be staying in Imola with the Rising Moon Theater Company (Compagnie Teatrale della Luna Crescente). they are making political theater in today's italy. im so excited. im so excited.

gosh, if someone asks me wehre i'm gonna be today a year ago???