click-clack

something (un)comfortable for Xmas

A-Z of you and the Uncomfortable Relationship survey

A - AVAILABLE: yes
B - BIRTHDAY: August 4!!
C - CRUSHING: I think, yes but at this state: who knows?!
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: San Benedetto green tea - yummy!
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Miss Constipation
F - FAVORITE BAND: not preferring any
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: bears, epecially the white ones - worms are not a thing here, really
H - HOMETOWN: Zalaegereszeg (hey, if a Frenchie can pronounce it perfectly, y'all should give a try at least
I - INSTRUMENT: piano, but since I can't really play anything, I just say: anything
J - JUGGLE: oh, yeah
K - KILLED SOMEONE: with my eyes, many times
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: to Mancheste, TN from NYC, summer of 05
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: vanilla
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 0
O - ONE WISH: more wisdome to all
R - REASON TO SMILE: memories
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: "last christmas" from G.Michael, it's xmas
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 2:24pm
U - UNDERWEAR: comfortable
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: hmmm..lentils?!
W - WORST HABIT: the need to understand it all
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: ankle
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Leo


♥ Relationship survey
Let's see if you can get through it.If not, you're too scared about your past

♥Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes
♥How many girlfriends/boyfriends have told you they love you? hmmm....
♥Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person? yeah, but always with a twist only
♥Are you crushin on someone? yeah and no
♥Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? it hurt without loving them
♥Are you happier single or in a relationship? happens to be the other way sometimes
♥Have you ever been cheated on? let's play Clinton with this one
♥Have you ever had your heart broken? kinda
♥Have you ever broken someone's heart? not on purpose, if it happened at all
♥Talk to any of your exes? yes and no
♥If you could go back in time and change things, would you? yes but I do accept how things are now too..no regrets and no what ifs
♥Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? yes
♥Have you dated people who were not good to you? later to be found as such
♥Have you been in an abusive relationship? no
♥Have you dated someone older than you? not older-older
♥Younger than you? just a little
♥Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? ..and i deserve to choose too
♥Believe in love at first sight? love is not the best term to be used, at all
♥Ever been given an engagement ring? kindergarten counts?
♥Do you want to get married? marriage is not the point
♥Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? not really
♥Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? to like them yes, to find them cute-cute for me, not really

from a couple of months ago: so much...

i would have so much liked to cry last night. on the way home. it would have felt so good. but i wasn't angry enough, or sad for that matter. or who knows what i wasn't enough to shed some tears. all i managed to leave on the empty streets from me were some words chopped. i never do so. ever. really. i'm always taking things with me. hiphiphurray.

then today, in the office, i flipped. i flipped while i was responding to a letter. as if had mattered at all....

the same old story again and again.

spin around with 360 degrees, and my universe remains still.

see-see-see - look-look-look


i don't know for what to wish to be different???!!

now. i. shouldn't. be. here.

and there are only broken question marks left seen among the lines. the lines themselves are disappearing. no straight lines or lanes that would give direction to the thoughts. everything evporates, disappears. everything flies into the air like the invisible hand lifting the high jump rod and thus..i'm falling deep. who's gonna fall down with me? does it matter at all? i don't really want anybody to fall with me. sometimes i just want to see their faces while i'm falling. sometimes i just want to know that....

what and what not...

lessons are learned constantly. slaps or careful touches are given and received.

don't mistake art for the genuine .

don't mistake the genuine for art.

 

honesty to the self can be extremeley misleading. because, there are way too many thoughts running through the head in a nanosecond for us to be able to fully give back in written words how and what we feel. i couldnt ever do that really. contradiction and honesty seem to be parallel travel companions in my universe.